Thursday, December 15, 2011


I grew up on the oldies, and Marvin Gaye is one of those amazing singers that I heard on KBEST95 while my dad drove my sister and I to school, quizzing us on who sang what song and the names of the songs.

When I was thinking about friends that I have, for some reason the title of this song came into my head. How sweet it really truly is, to be loved by friends. It's one of the greatest feelings in the world (it goes right along with being remembered.) And with my past experiences with friends, I really truly mean that from the bottom of my heart (well I should say butt, because it's bigger) (ok that was a pinterest joke but it's true.) There's no feeling like the feeling of being alone, betrayed and friendless. But I'd rather remember the moments when I've had the secure feeling knowing that there's someone there to be a good friend.

Moving from Provo to Salt Lake was a great change for me and I've met amazing people, and made amazing friends. Considering it was finals week, I didn't even bother to think about my birthday coming up. It was the last thing on my mind. I had papers to write, presentations to make, finals to pass... and my birthday was at the end of it all and I just couldn't think about it. I don't like to bother other people either, especially since my birthday always lands during finals week as well as Christmas time and everyone is off seeing the MoTab in concert and whatnot.

Luckily, I have good friends. I received texts asking what we were doing for my birthday, and when I said I didn't know they all began texting each other until I ran into one of my old roommates, Jessie, who said, "So, my phone has been blowing up with everyone asking about your birthday..." And tonight we went out to eat. Jessie brought balloons and a cake (she's so responsible) (and AWESOME) and it was a very, very funny evening. If it weren't for a couple of great friends, I would've stayed home and been completely fine with it. But this was really a treat :)

Everyone was looking at the camera so only Al and I know what really was happening right before the photo... needless to say it was... something that made me turn bright red... and laugh... and cringe.

Jessie is truly a friend that everyone should have, and I don't know how I got so lucky so have her as one of mine.

This might seem like routine for a friends birthday for them, and really not that big of a deal... but it is. Being remembered and knowing that people really do care about me is an amazing feeling and I am so grateful that I have made such good friends. I miss not having them around all the time.

I woke up to these notes littered in the apartment. You would think my roommate would know how to spell my name correctly... It's ok, she's too kind!

FROZEN OREOS!! I knew it when I touched it.

One of my good friends from my youth and I became obsessed with Switchfoot in high school, and they were my first concert I ever went to. I just realized last night that this is my song for today, well, and to kick off my 24th year.... and the song I'll be posting on all my friends facebook pages for when they turn the big 2-4. It came out 8 years ago when I was 16, and 24 seemed so far away...

Can men and women be friends?

1st thought that runs through my head: of course.

Now... watch this:

Then I continue with my thought, "Of course they can just be friends. They just took a lot of interviews and cropped them to make the audience view this statement how they want them to." When confronted about how predictable my response was to the video because I'm a woman, I thought about it and said, "No... I really believe it!" The first person I thought of to use as an example was a co-worker I am good friends with and completely open and honest with about everything... and then I had to re-think about that friendship and came to the conclusion it doesn't count... because he's gay. Can men and women really not be friends?

I decided to begin interviewing. First I began interviewing the people I work with. Considering they're all guys... I was really interested to hear their opinions. I asked them a few questions. 1. Can men and women be friends? 2. Do you consider us friends? Work friends? Or not friends at all? Here are the results...

Opinion #1: No... no they can't. And a friend is someone you've hung out with outside of work. And it doesn't count if one of the two are in a relationship. You're a work friend, which is different, because I don't consider work friends, friends. (I felt a stab in the back with that harsh statement!)

Opinion #2: Yes... but 90% of the time, no. We're friends, but most of the time for other people it's not that way. (Ok, I'm beginning to warm up to this way of thinking...)

Opinion #3: Yes. I agree with opinion #2.

Opinion #4: Yes. And I consider you work friends, but note that I do see you more than my family and close friends, so... (yeah, that was my boss. I felt special. He specifically told me not to get mushy though.)

Opinion #5: Yes. (Long discussion, can you tell?)

Opinion #6: What is a definition of friend? Because, if one of the two is fantasizing about the other, then no... but the other person doesn't know, yet they're still friends. You can't eliminate that sexual tension, especially if the two are single... even if it's in the back of your head.

Opinion #7: Yes, IF the girl is ugly. (My personal favorite.)

Opinion #8: (Random girl checking in book that I asked) No. I didn't know that my best friend growing up was totally in love with me, so... nope. (Come on girl, you're not helping my case here!)

Opinion #9: Yes. Wait... why wouldn't they be?

Opinion #10: No. Unless, not to sound like a douche, but unless there's no attraction. Then yes.

Opinion #9: (after hearing opinion #10) Oh... ok. Yeah, Kelsy, I think this might create a problem between us.

Is it possible that men and women can't be friends, no matter how little the interest may be? Over the process of these interviews I've heard a lot of different opinions, which has caused me to reflect over this question. Why do I believe they can be? Am I in denial? Is this just a protective cover that I (or we as women) put up when in reality we know that every time we meet someone of the opposite sex we judge their character or their looks or whether or not something someday we could possibly date them? Is it just to save face? Do we deny the sexual tension that lies in between the sexes, even if the guy is a total douche? (OK, that one I can answer... YES.) These are all questions that have been raised during my informal research... and came to a surprising conclusion. (Surprising because I felt so strongly about my first opinion... but as I spell it out, nope, not surprising.)

This is the result that I came to, after hearing opinions (from mostly men): Men and Women, 90% of the time, cannot be friends (the other 10% is when the other person may not be attracted to that particular sex... as well as if BOTH parties are not attracted to each other). I have this handicap: when I am around a guy I'm interested in, I become a total idiot and become a stupid girl rather than the really cool girl that I am (yeah, I just said that. What of it?) Too often, I'm that really cool girl around guys I'm not interested in and they take my totally awesome personality the wrong way.

So after a week of questioning, pondering, and debating with my inner self... I came to this conclusion based on answers primarily from the male sex:

Men and women CAN be friends!

I'm a girl and I will always believe that men and women can be friends. While I think that we can, most of the time it isn't mutual... because men don't think like women. I will continue to say that I consider many of my male friends JUST friends... but I can't always say that's mutual. Like my friend Kim said, "This has made me question a lot of my male friendships... So, do I even have male friends?? Have all my male friendships been lies??"

For me, I believe fully that men and women can be friends. Men might not have the same viewpoint, but my viewpoint is the only one that matters to me. 

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Taken for Granted

I've realized that there's things I truly appreciated and absolutely looked forward to on my mission that I hoped I'd continue afterwards. It's amazing how time gets filled so quickly and the ambitions I once had slowly fade away until one day I realize, "Wait a second, this is great... why haven't I been doing this the whole time?"

Here are some things that I take for granted, that I truly appreciated as a missionary:

1. The Ensign. I loved it, loved reading the stories in it... it was like a mini- general conference each month.
2. Temple worship. We could only go once every 6 months, which made me appreciate the value of it more.
3. Visiting teaching. Almost all of the wards I served in had a completely broken visiting teaching program that many souls could have been saved by if they were fixed... and I vowed that when I came back that I would do my duty to make it successful in my ward.
4. Lesson manuels. There's a reason why there are teacher and student manuals, so students can prepare and get the most out of their sunday school lessons.
5. Service opportunities. We looked for them everywhere. Now... I just occupy my time with work and school when I know I'm happiest when I am helping others.

Would the missionary I was a year and a half ago be disappointed in who I had become today? I don't think so... but definitely saddened that I didn't try harder to accomplish these goals I had set to do as frequently as possible. It's possible to do, and I need to remember why I had these goals in the first place: to strengthen my faith and testimony, to not give into temptation, and to be an example of the believers.

Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Ode to the iPhone

You've done me no wrong. When I used and abused you, you were nothing but kind to me and lasted me as long as I would still have you for. I have become attached to you, dear cell phone with the "icrack" app that has prevented many from stealing you from me. Thank you for lasting me 1 1/2 years with many drops, and a year with your handicap. I was the only one that could read you, which became useful when I didn't want anyone to see a text. Thank you for being a great conversation starter. Thank you for getting men to use you as a great pick up line. We've had so many good times together, and I will never forget you my dear, first, iPhone.

Once Upon a Time

I absolutely love this show. It's one of the few (if any) shows I make sure to hulu each week since I don't have cable. It's like a movie... a very long movie that reminds me of Lost in that it tells you a story about a specific character in each episode and takes you to their past... and you start seeing the connections within the storyline.

I do have some questions:

1. If everyone in Storybrook is a fairy tale character- who is the Sheriff??
2. If David was in the hospital for years in Storybrook, how did his wife not know he was in the hospital in her hometown? Or does she not live in Storybrook? And if not, how did he get out of Storybrook since no one can leave Storybrook??
3. Ginnifer Goodwin is a movie actress, I'm curious as to how many seasons it will last?
4. If it lasts longer than one season, do you think they would have a totally horrible ending like Lost because they dragged it out too long? I hope they won't do that, it would let their audience down!

Doesn't hurt that Prince Charming is ridiculously good looking either.

I love each episode, but I really enjoyed this past Sundays'... "The Shepard." I totally related with Jennifer Goodwins' character what she said in the last scene:

"You ever walk into a situation where you know exactly what's going to happen? And then you go into it anyways. And then when what you're afraid of happens, you kick yourself because you should've known better. But that's just who you are, as if you're just punishing yourself."

I guess that's just what happens to hopeless romantics... too often! It worked out well for her in He's Just Not That Into You so I guess I have no choice but to keep pushing on. (Terrible and raunchy movie by the way. I don't recommend it. Unless you need to learn the lessons that are taught... then find a clean version of it. I often find myself asking girls telling me stories about guys if they've ever seen the movie... because they're just not that into them.)